Category — Houston

ComedySportz fans who have been keeping up, my march madness team, Cousin Oliver and the Haha Hobbits, won their match and made it to the next round. Captain Monte, Matt and Peter were in it to win it. Out semi-finals match is on March 19th!

L-R Matt, Peter, Referee Stephen and Captain Monte.

Viva Mexico

Well then come to ComedySportz Houston. I’ll be there with bells on, showing the audience it’s ok to laugh at stupid things. Tonight January 30, 2010 8pm.

And afterwards go see Scatter! The best college improv troupe in the southwest. They’ve recently lost their space but they’ll find a place to perform. Check their facebook fan page for updates.

Come one and come all to see me host the 23nd Grown Up Storytime. It’s like a beatnik poetry reading meets Saturday Night Live. Only $5 gets you entertainment.

What’s Boo Town‘s Grown Up Storytime? People write stories and send them into Boo Town. Boo Town then goes and finds comedians or actors and hands them the stories. What happens with the story after the performer receives the story is always a mystery. There are no rules so it’s always unpredictable, live and fun.

My hopes for the Houston Texans have packed their bags and walked out the door. The Houston Texans loosing to the Jacksonville Jaguars broke my heart, but I saw it coming. Something told me that the Texans were going to disappoint me.

This season has been full of heartache and indigestion for me. All of our losses have been winable. All of our losses have been within 7 points. (With the exception of the Colts loss last week, we lost by 8.) I keep coming back to this because it is my biggest complaint: Gary Kubiak is a bad game manager. He might be an ok player manager (I doubt it though, look at all of the penalties) but he cannot manage a game to save his life. Stupid play calls (A Chris Brown option…what?), poor clock management (not taking a timeout in the fourth quarter of the first Indy game) and settling for field goals when a touchdown will win the game (has anyone told Coach that we have a potent offense?) Say what you want, but Kubiak should instill confidence in our offense by putting the game on their shoulders. Let Schaub take us to the promise land and win a game with some big passes. That’s telling your offense, ‘I believe in you guys, win the game for us.’ Trying to tie the game instead of winning it is saying, ‘Our offense can’t score, let’s just settle for three.’

But then again, maybe that was a good decision. Poor Kris Brown is on suicide watch. Kris Brown is an original Texans and has been a clutch kicker his entire career. But putting so much pressure on a kicker when he’s in a bit of a slump is making him the scapegoat and writing him a ticket out of town. Maybe Kubiak wanted a scapegoat for the season. I’d hate to see Kris Brown have a Brad Lidge meltdown of confidence but that could happen. Brown might be in another jersey soon even though these games shouldn’t have been on him to begin with.

And speaking of men named Kris Brown, let’s move on to the other: Chris Brown. What a stupid option play to call. Every Texan fan died a little bit when that play was called. You never, never, never let a running back have an option of throwing the ball…because they’ll THROW IT. 99.9 % of the time a running back will go with the option to throw instead of run because it’s in all of our natures to want to be the quarterback. We aren’t a wildkat team, Kubiak. Did you call that play on a dare?

Here’s a dare: Andre Johnson, I dare you to stick around. Andre said in an interview earlier this season that he wanted to stick around and make this team great. Andre Johnson is the best receiver in the league. He’s tough, has great hands, unselfish, not a media hog, or a lunatic, and he’s fast! That’s the perfect receiver for a franchise. I’ve heard so much talk nationally and locally about Johnson’s future. I believe Andre when he says he wants to stick around, but we have to prove that we want to be a winning team.

Gary Kubiak wants to coach a winning team, but I don’t think he’s a head coach. He’s not a bad coach. Gary Kubiak brought the Texans into contention. The Texans can compete with any team. The thing is the Texans beat themselves. Gary Kubiak is vanilla. He’s mediocre. And because he’s mediocre the player are mediocre. The Texans might be the biggest group of underachievers this year. I don’t see Kubiak turning this around. We need to move on. Which is ridiculous of me to say because I subscribe to the give the coach a chance to get his system going philosophy.

I just don’t see this working out. I see a good offense system. I see a defense that’s improving. But I do not see the leadership that takes it to the next level. I’m afraid we suck this year, again. We’re worse than a bad team, we’re a good team that can’t play like a good team.

This one’s for all of my Houston peeps. My Comedysportz debut is this Saturday December 5th. Come out for some improv and see my rookie game.