Category — Film

After ripping on Armored I sort of felt bad for the lead actor of the film. One Mr. Colombus Short. I made fun of all the actors but everyone else is a recognizable face (yes even you Skeet). Colombus Short might just possibly be a great actor if he’s given more opportunity. Yeah, he might have been a dancer in You Got Served and he might have Save The Last Dance 2 on his resume but many people came from humble or not so prestigious backgrounds. Harrison Ford was a set carpenter, Will Smith was somewhat of a rapper, Nicolas Cage was Nicolas Cage. So I just wanted to go on record saying that he wasn’t bad in Armored but the movie wasn’t good and a up-and-coming-actor shouldn’t be blamed for this flop. If you haven’t seen it already go out and rent Cadillac Records. Colombus Short’s performance as Little Walter is powerful and menacing. He is able to make his presence known among a movie with Adrian Brody, Beyonce, Mos Def, and an incredible Jeffrey Wright as Muddy Waters. It’s not the best movie in the world but check it out. And don’t just scoff at Colombus Short, who if given the chance could have a career in Hollywood.

I went to see Armored the other night. And all I have to say is that it was not a good decision. I mean, if you want to watch a less than mediocre movie with The Professional, Morpheus, The Guy From Scream, Sucre, Matt Dillon and a guy that sort of looks like a young Hootie without his blowfish; than this is a movie from you. This movie was a mess. The first act was slow, the second act started to show promise towards the end and then it ended. Right when I thought it was maybe watchable it ended. If you want to make an action movie, make an action movie. This movie tried so hard to attempt to have deep, real characters and relationships but it failed to a comical extent. Not every movie needs to make you think. A popcorn movie can just be a popcorn movie sometimes. Seeing this movie was almost too embarrassing to admit to.

I decided to go see a movie tonight. There weren’t many options and to be honest who doesn’t want to see a popcorn movie every now and then. With all the twitter buzz and constant promotion of 2012 who wouldn’t be drawn to the new action movie. (Unless your a 14 year old girl, Twilight fans…) So yes, I did go to see 2012. I won’t rat out who cam with me, but she came on her own free will. Despite what she may say.

We got there early. With snacks tucked away in her purse and we were surprised to see fifty people already in line waiting to sit in the theatre. Is this movie really that big of a deal? John Cusack fans maybe? Why do so many people want to see this movie?

This movie was beautiful, the special effects were ridiculous. So much earthquakes and crap falling apart/blowing up/falling into the earth. But there are so many problems with this movie it’s not very fair to try and judge it. So spoiler alert! Here’s somethings I found amusing or liked.

1. Danny Glover as the President. Man I love me some Danny Glover and his gruff whisper acting. How close do they have to get the mic to that guy? I seriously love him and my favorite part of the movie is when he asks for the translators of the world leaders to give him a minute to talk them in private. He says, “Your English is sufficient.” Then he goes into a speech with numerous multi-syllabic words. It was like a SAT vocabulary test. But what can you expect from this kind of a script?

2. This movie has so many moments where trouble is right on the heels of John Cusack. He’s in so much constant peril it’s ridiculous. Plus there are too many scenes where a plane is taking off from a runway that’s too short. That scene was copied and pasted into the script a couple of times.

3. This movie is so cheese-ball. I loved the stereotypical Russians.

4. Woody Harrelson. What a champ. The man decided to do whatever crazy thing he wanted. That pickle thing was the best part of the movie. The movie goes downhill after he dies.

5. The dog survives! That dog made it onto the ark, what a champ! How ridiculous…who would win in a fight that dog or Woody Harrelson? Debate!

6. Oliver Platt and Chiwetel Ejiofor make the movie watchable. These guys are good actors and make things enjoyable…sort of. Mr. Ejiofor joins Ioan Gruffudd and Djimon Hounsou in the Actors-I-Like-But-Don’t-Know-How-To-Say-Your-Name list.

7. The Boss from Just Shoot Me is in this movie, there should have been more of him.

8. Why was this movie so long!? I spilled a bit of the soda I sneaked into the theatre on my pants and was worried that I would walk out looking like I peed myself. But the movie was so long it dried by the time it was over. I would have rather been embarrassed than sit through a movie longer than 90 minutes.

9. I thought Danny Glover was going to have a Bill Pullman president speech like in ID4 during that presidential address. But it was not nearly as awesome and it was cut short. Bill Pullman’s speech goes down in history as best movie president speech ever.

10. Speaking of Independence Day. Roland Emmerich will never make a movie better than Independence Day. Ever. That movie is classic. I want to see that movie now. This might be the closest Emmerich gets to making a good movie again. Retire my friend or make a video game. If this movie was a video game I’d want to play it.

Many people have felt the same way I have the past couple of years: Hollywood is ruining my childhood. Case in point GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The special effects were more believable than Channing Tatum in that waste of film. Sometimes it seems like every fond memory I have of watching TV as a child is being turned into a bad movie.

So I was horrified when it was announced that ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ was being adapted into a movie. Then I was glad to hear Spike Jonze was involved. Then when the movie’s release date was pushed back I was skeptical. This movie has been pushed back for a long time, it was filmed in 2006. That’s no typo, 3 years ago. However, when I saw the trailer I got excited again.

To be fair to Spike Jonze the studio was scared to release the movie. Spike Jonze is risky (Adaptation, Being John Malkovich) and studios want to make money not take risks.  Now adapting a children’s book, essentially a couple of sentences,  into a full length major motion picture is crazy. Then put Spike into that formula and the studio is asking for something that will be bizarre and different. So even though it took three years and countless arguments Where the Wild Things Are is finally released. And I loved it.

Where the Wild Things is a beautiful piece of work that will not be appreciated by the masses. This movie is destined to be a cult classic, a rare treat for the adult looking back on their childhood. I connected with this film from the beginning. Max (Max Records) is just a little boy causing terror and making a trail of mess wherever he goes. He’s basically a boy.

The movie takes off and goes to strange and unusual places, figuratively and literally. But what I most appreciate is that it is told with the imaginative innocence of a young child. Max has his feelings hurt and doesn’t know how to deal with it, he acts out and misbehaves, he runs away from home. Recklessly acting out of emotion like a child who hasn’t yet been trained how to properly deal with stress. The movie moves with Max caring not for justification, moving out of quick and carnal decisions not worrying about consequences. I thought it to be an accurate portrayal of how children can act out. Then I realized I was in a theatre filled with children and parents who were maybe not appreciating this on the same level I was.

The bad thing about Spike Jonze making an adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are is that Spike Jonze is very cerebral. Artsy and smart is not usually what parents and children look for in movies. While I did hear children giggle and gasp I felt like me and my girlfriend were the only ones laughing and having a blast. Children’s movies are not usually like this and are more marketable. Even Wall-E and Up, which had their moments of film snobbery, made sure to make a likable movie for kids. This movie is about kids, not necessarily for them. Yet at the same time there’s huge puppets from Jim Henson’s Creature Shop and not many themes that will appeal to adults. I’m not all too sure if this movie will find a wide audience. It will be too slow and strange for most people and possibly even a disappointment for families.

While this review could end there I would like to mention what I’m sure some people are concerned about, the actual ‘Wild Things’ or monsters. These creatures have so much life in them and mirror the concerns and attitudes of children it is amazing. As someone who works with kids I can see the similarities loud and clear. You hardly ever notice that these things are puppets, you completely buy into their world. It’s the world of children each wild thing is trying to vie for attention and be liked. The innocence and insecurities of children are showcased in each monster. Reminding us that every now and then we can all be a little monster having problems that faced us in childhood. Like how to appropriately show anger, trying to make friends, not wanting to play with others and feeling like no one ever listens to you. The cast of creatures all do an amazing job. James Gandolfini is incredible as Carol, the main creature, who is meant to be a mirror to Max’s own beastly behavior. Chris Cooper, Catherine O’Hara, Forrest Whitiker, and Paul Dano all give brilliant vocal performances with words that broke my heart and made me laugh in memory of my own childhood.

For people like me, who have fond memories of this book as a child and enjoy indie films and Spike Jonze body of work this is a must see. However, I think most parents of young children might want to look elsewhere for their theatre experience.